Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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