I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
