i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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