Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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