Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
