Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i dont even know how to be here
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
