dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
