Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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