he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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