omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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