do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This baby is an asshole
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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