last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
