her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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