he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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