We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
