I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
