I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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