Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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