I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The power of my boobs compel you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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