You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
