last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
