The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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