go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm jealous of your bromance
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
