I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
