How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
