After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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