Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize