You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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