OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
