This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
