Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
