After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
