idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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