things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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