what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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