nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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