I got chris browned last night
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize