Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
