you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
tell me about the fingering
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