y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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