I need to stop coming to work sober
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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