You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
