guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
