the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
