The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
