I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
