i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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