Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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