You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
