Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize