if i can run in heels then i can drive
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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