I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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