is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
