Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
