I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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