the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
