I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Mom said you looked used
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
