On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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