that's an acceptable place to lick
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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