Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
