singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
