you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
