I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
