Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
